Giving birth without an epidural and finding out the baby's sex on the big day seems crazy, but it was my birth plan, our family plan for the arrival of our first child. A carefully considered choice that still left room for a plan B or even C if that had to be considered.
If I have one piece of advice to give, trust yourself and surround yourself with people who believe in YOU!
This meeting that changed my LIFE.
Tuesday August 7, 2018, D-15 (term scheduled for August 21).
" That morning, at 10:30 I woke up, headed for the toilet, I lay down again, then again this feeling of going back to the toilet... I said to the future dad: "Here I am losing a few droplets, are you thinking what I am thinking? Do you think it's for today?". The future dad who was waiting for this moment, got up with a start then went to ask my mother for advice (who was sleeping upstairs because she had come to spend a few days of vacation with us, so as not to miss the birth of the baby).
Here we are on our way with the future dad and my mom. On the way, I literally renamed the seat I was sitting on and I was surprised by this sensation that ran through my thighs for a few seconds. When I arrived at the maternity ward, I felt good but a little overwhelmed, the journey into the unknown had begun!
We had been preparing for months and I knew, at that moment, that I had to leave behind all my acquired knowledge, what we call "pain" had to be synonymous with "joy" to welcome our baby into our reality. But how to make this turnaround of the sensations that we acquire from a young age? Would I be ready when these contractions manifest? Many questions that we had answered with the help of Nathalie, my midwife. We don't know if we will really be ready on the big day and if the birth plan that we had thought about carefully will go as we wish. The doubts that were beginning to cross my thoughts were diminished by this unwavering support from my family who believed in me.
In the waiting room, we waited with our file under our arms, which had been registered on August 3 because one of my gynecologists wanted to induce me. I did not expect this announcement, I was in shock, tears were running down my cheeks. After thinking carefully about this option and after asking for a second medical opinion, we had managed to refuse this solution. The examination by a nursing assistant had detected no abnormalities upon our arrival, that was the main thing. Then, she announced to me that I was going to spend some time with her to prepare for the arrival of the baby. The nursing assistant who was in charge of examining me was adorable, the whole team was attentive to our needs. I explained our birth plan, and the reactions of the professionals were surprising because they explained to me that it was so rare these days to make this choice.
I felt good, no contractions and the hours were passing but I didn't realize it, I had no notion of time. Every hour, a visit to check the dilation of my cervix had been set up. The hours passed and I was so hungry that I begged for food to be brought to me... after 4 hours, I was allowed to eat a compote and two biscuits, how can I tell you that I was not satisfied with this snack. Contractions in my lower back came to visit me, then they became more and more present causing all sorts of new sensations in my body centralized in my lower back. My mantra was my breathing, the future dad and my mom took turns every hour to massage my back, which allowed me to concentrate on the arrival of the next sensation that would fill my lower back again. Another midwife came to question everything, I began to doubt myself, fear had set in… this “joy” became “pain” for a moment. Then, those around me, who believed in me, allowed me to pick up where I was before her arrival by reassuring me. I was once again guided by my instinct to listen to my body and I regained confidence in myself in order to continue our project.
A few minutes later, a midwife came to introduce herself to us, her name was Océane, she explained to us that there had been a change of shift. She suggested that I take a bath because the water helps the cervix to dilate. When I came back from the bath, Océane told me that she would come back in 30 minutes because we were close to the baby's arrival.
11:34 p.m., here we are, the delivery room was ready to receive us, a few steps from the room we were in. Finally settled, the contractions continued to punctuate the dilation of my cervix and I felt more and more the baby's descent into my pelvis. A few hours later, the ejection reflex had been implemented with the help of the gynecologist who had joined us in the delivery room. Between two contractions, she had offered to pick up the baby if I wanted, I accepted this offer in order to fully experience this meeting that would change my life. On August 8 at 1:23 a.m., I picked up this little boy who spoke as soon as he came out. I quickly placed him on my chest and Océane put down an electric blanket. Dad asked Océane "is it a girl or a boy?". Océane replied with a smile "Sir, it's a baby", I answered "it's a boy! " My eyes searched for his gaze, an unconditional love that grew during my pregnancy had become real, we are a family, my son.
Your mom.
(Marlène's testimony)