Maternity leave is coming to an end, it's time to go back to work. Here are two experts' tips for getting back into the swing of things.
"Will I get my job back? How can I combine family life and work?" wonders Elodie, an architect who is returning to work at the beginning of November. These are questions that cross the minds of all women who have finished their maternity leave. To facilitate and prepare for this transitional moment, Myriam Szejer, child psychiatrist and psychoanalyst at the maternity ward of the Foch hospital in Suresnes, and Sylvie Sanchez-Forsans, occupational psychologist and human resources consultant, give us some valuable advice.
Four sources of stress
The law specifies that at the end of its maternity leave , the employee returns to her previous job, or a similar job, with a remuneration at least equivalent. "The environment that the woman will find when returning to the company plays a bigger role than the length of the leave," reassures Myriam Szejer. "The pace of life changes, as do desires and priorities," says a young mother. Sylvie Sanchez-Forsans identifies four sources of stress: "The first difficulty is psychological with a drop in morale, an apprehension of change and, possibly, sadness. The second is physical with perineal rehabilitation, a possible need to go on a diet or to strengthen the body. Women undergo a physical pressure which has increased in recent years. Then, professional anxiety linked to a prolonged absence also plays a role. And finally, stress due to a new organization," explains the occupational psychologist.
A departure that is being prepared
SYLVIE SANCHEZ-FORSANSPreview your pregnancy and anticipate
"The return depends enormously on how the woman left, what happened during her leave and how she is received," argues Myriam Szejer. The whole difficulty is to oscillate between "presence and letting go," explains Sylvie Sanchez-Forsans. And she advises establishing a dialogue with her managers and the human resources department in order to plan this departure. "We can help ourselves by following the "The social security maternity guide , which is very well designed," she recommends to "preview your pregnancy and anticipate," in order to reduce "anxiety." The psychologist especially encourages future mothers to be "proactive in managing the absence. The more the person controls things, the more the stress decreases."
During the holiday
The ideal is to implement good practices. "Your colleagues don't need to contact you every month or every week," warns Sylvie Sanchez-Forsans. On the other hand, nothing prevents you from leaving a means of contacting you in case of emergency the first month. "Preferring email remains less invasive for a question." We can also take advantage of this leave to nourish ourselves intellectually: "Train yourself, take stock, update your CV, even if you don't plan on changing companies," encourages Sylvie Sanchez-Forsans.
Separation from the child
MYRIAM SZEJERIt is necessary that the adaptation be as gradual as possible
The two specialists agree on one point: the importance of a step-by-step transition. "It is necessary for the adaptation to be as gradual as possible," advises Myriam Szejer. This involves a transformation of rituals and dialogue. "It is important to move around the places where the child will be looked after, to introduce him to new smells, to get him used to them by leaving him there occasionally for an hour or two, then a day," explains Sylvie Sanchez-Forsans. The idea is to "mourn the loss of this special relationship" by establishing "a new framework."
Another tip: don't hesitate to share your feelings and be honest with your child. "You can tell them that you were very happy to take care of them," says Myriam Szejer. Before explaining that from now on, we're going back to work . "We tell him that he's old enough to go to daycare or be looked after by a nanny," continues the child psychiatrist. The principle? Explain what comes next and give meaning to this action, while reassuring him. "And if the mother is not happy to return to work, she can say that she's going reluctantly but that's how it is, that she has no choice," she adds. If the difficulties persist, you shouldn't isolate yourself and quickly get help from a psychologist or through discussion workshops. Those around you can also help to get involved. "For many women, returning to work means working a double day," recalls Myriam Szejer. Any help is therefore welcome to lighten this double day.