While pregnancy and childbirth are two subjects that are often discussed and covered in general, we sometimes forget to mention the postpartum period, which is just as important. Indeed, it is a trying time both for the young mother who has just given birth, and which upsets the entire family who welcomes a newborn by having to adapt to the arrival of this baby, which sometimes turns everything upside down.
Postpartum is the period from the end of childbirth to the return of menstruation, or the first period after pregnancy. This period lasts at least 6 weeks. But in reality, postpartum extends until our body and mind have fully recovered from pregnancy, and have adapted to the arrival of the baby.
Postpartum manifests itself in two ways. First of all, on a physical level: the body must recover from these last 9 months, including pregnancy and childbirth. But there is also the whole psychological dimension of postpartum, because childbirth and the arrival of a baby are far from trivial!
Physical changes
On a physical level, the body has undergone many changes. Pregnancy and childbirth, even if they went very well, often remain "traumas" for the body. The latter must recover from all the changes it has undergone and from all the hormonal impregnation that has modified its functioning.
After giving birth, the young mother loses blood, "lochia". This discharge looks like a period and is intended to clean the uterus following your pregnancy and expel placental debris. Their duration varies but generally lasts 4 weeks. Blood clots can also be expelled. As long as they are smaller than "an egg", there is no need to worry. On the other hand, clots larger than an egg should lead to a consultation. And generally, when in doubt, it is always better to consult regardless of the size of these clots in order to get a medical opinion.
So remember to plan ahead for sanitary protection to be able to manage these losses as best as possible. I also advise you to bring clothes that will allow you to feel comfortable during your stay in the maternity ward and that will hide your pads. So avoid short nightgowns that let everything show through.
Then you will feel what are called "trenches," which are like contractions, and can be very painful. These cramps are meant to help the uterus return to its original size. They can be intensified when you are breastfeeding.
Additionally, depending on how your delivery went, your body also needs to recover from any potential after-effects. If you had an episiotomy, the stitches may be uncomfortable for a while. Similarly, any tears caused by the baby passing through your perineum will take some time to heal and will likely cause pain when you urinate.
Finally, if you are breastfeeding, you may have pain when breastfeeding is established. The milk coming in around the 3rd day can be painful.
More generally, your body has undergone significant changes during these 9 months. It is therefore normal that it must readjust and you must give it time to return to its pre-pregnancy functioning. It will take you a little time to lose the weight accumulated during pregnancy, which will potentially lead to back pain while you lose these extra pounds. This phenomenon can be accentuated if you are breastfeeding.
If you feel that your body has been mistreated during pregnancy and childbirth, you can go and see an osteopath, this appointment could do you a lot of good! You can also take your baby who will probably also have been "josted" during childbirth.
Psychological changes
On a psychological level, the postpartum period is also full of twists and turns! The changing daily routine, the arrival of new responsibilities, fatigue and hormonal upheaval can have a significant effect on the young mother's morale. It's a real emotional upheaval.
Many mothers experience a period of "baby blues". This period results in great physical fatigue and the inability to take care of her baby. The woman is not in good spirits and can sometimes feel guilty about finding herself like this when she has welcomed a baby into her life and should be happy! Do not delay in consulting if you feel sad after giving birth and feel the need for help to get through this period.
Social pressure can also be difficult to manage in this very special period, we must try to detach ourselves from it as much as possible.
You have the right to doubt, to crack, to be afraid, and to be at your wit's end! You are not alone!
Our advice
Our advice is first and foremost to accept that you are not feeling well, and that you have not regained your pre-pregnancy body. Accept that you are tired, that you cry, and that you have trouble getting into the rhythm. All of this is normal!
So accept your emotions and take your time. You have to try to free yourself as much as possible and not try to do everything according to social laws or "what is good", listen to yourself, do what makes you feel good. A happy mother will make her baby happy.
Indeed, if you feel the need to spend a lot of time with your baby, do it! But if you feel the need to escape and spend time with friends or family, don't hesitate! Your well-being is central, because that of your baby depends on it.
Having an idea of what you want to set up for when your baby arrives before you give birth can help you get your bearings. You can create routines even before your baby arrives, such as bedtime routines, such as playing the same music, dimming the lights, and having quiet time. These moments can be calming for everyone in the household.
Then, don't hesitate to ask for help. You can ask your loved ones or professionals for advice, or even help at home (why not ask a friend to come by to do a bit of cleaning or cook a hot meal while you rest?). Surround yourself with people you trust, who make you feel good, to be supported. A person with whom you could let yourself go. This person can be your spouse but also a friend, a sister, a parent...
Do not hesitate to call a professional if you feel the need to be listened to. You can also call a home midwife who will be able to assist you and give you lots of advice.
Finally, a tip that you probably know, but that is really essential to remember. When your baby is sleeping and you can do it too, sleep at the same time as him! Every minute of sleep is extremely precious! Preserve yourself to hold on and be able to take care of baby as best you can!