Testimony of a mother about her home birth without epidural:
" It was a conscious decision, which involved a lot of things.
I had not done any special preparation because the beginning was very difficult… I started haptonomy around the 6th month, I had a little acupuncture and I had the classic preparation, in the hospital where I was registered (just in case!) rather open to my home birth…
On the big day, I was sure that our child would be born there!
I had about 10 hours of labor, and this is what helped me:
I had a ball, a big pregnancy ball that I bounced on. But I only used it at the beginning of labor, I was too uncomfortable on it, I felt more like I was closing my cervix rather than opening it (my feeling of course)
My bed and couch helped me get my pelvis out at times but it was short-lived.
I also had a swimming pool. That's what helped me a lot to relax, unwind and have seconds of escape. What bliss! Getting in or out wasn't easy, but the weightlessness in the water felt so good. With each contraction I moved, I lifted a leg, arched my back, knelt down. But I felt that the pain was less than outside the water.
I chained the positions until I found THE right one.
I was taking "mini naps" or let's say I was in a second state halfway between wakefulness and drowsiness, between two contractions, but it really helped me regain my strength, you only realize it afterwards.
The midwife checked my cervix which was slowly opening...
She helped me with massage, a little acupressure, as did my husband who had been trained in this technique to relieve pain during childbirth without an epidural.
I wasn't insulting, unpleasant or ignorant towards him. I needed him, he was there, and he supported me a lot (physically too!).
I hung on his neck, and my pain was like being sucked out of his body. His back suffered quite a bit in the following days, but he doesn't hold it against me today.
I did a bit of "vocalizing" (those low sounds that help ease the pain during contractions) but it only made my pain worse. This technique wasn't right for me.
We had closed the shutters, the darkness calmed me. No music or singing. I could only stand whispers. It was rather soft sounds that calmed me. I concentrated on the murmurs of my husband and the nursing staff.
My breathing, my heartbeat and the baby's were like an orchestra. I could hear my baby talking to me. I listened to him, I followed him. We were a team.
After thinking about it, I think it is thanks to the swimming pool that I will without hesitation start giving birth again without an epidural (and at home).
Of course, I was in pain. The little circle of fire that you never forget (although...) and I also went through this phase of despair, this moment when I said to myself: "I can't do it" but it only lasted a fraction of a second before my man looked at me and said "I'm proud, you're beautiful, you're strong, I'm here" and then, you suddenly feel powerful, human, in harmony with yourself and your baby and you accept what's happening. You welcome life fully. And I kept saying to myself: "others have done it, why not me?"
I had thought about hypnosis, but too late, and it was not easy to find someone near us at home!
I was taking homeopathy, and I had an acupuncture session. I don't know if that played a role, but it certainly contributed to the success of this birth without an epidural.
These efforts, this preparation were rewarded with being able to give birth half in water and pick up my child in my arms with my eyes open, full of love...
You should know that it is not easy to make this choice, faced with professionals who try to make us change our minds by telling us that we will certainly change our minds when the time comes, and that we will go to the hospital or that we will beg them to give us an epidural. But no, I was lucky not to have these ideas and to be well supported by my husband, my midwife and my "Star".
The memory of the pain fades. But not this unforgettable moment of giving birth by fully living the moment by welcoming the pain without fighting against it but by accompanying it… And when the long-awaited moment comes, this fraction of a second when we forget where we are, who is present around us, and that we hold our “piece of ourselves” against us. At that moment, I told myself that all this path traveled and this accepted pain was indeed the path to unlimited happiness in my opinion!
I hope these words will speak to all mothers who wish to give birth without an epidural and at home.
Lots of kind thoughts to all,
Cloe »